Life is Rich…E-R-S-O-N

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Archive for Pregnancy

My beef with Baby Center

Baby Center.com was my best friend when I was pregnant.  I could google ANYTHING – and Baby Center would usually be the top hit.  I joined as a member and even “chatted” on some of the member forums (please stop making fun of me in your mind…I also belong to a LOST forum, on which I have spent many-a-hour feeling dumb by talking to smart LOST watchers…).  Anyway – Baby Center was great.  It would email me each week with a little paragraph about my baby’s development (it does leave a lot to be desired because one teeny little paragraph was just not quite enough for me and my paranoia quest for knowledge) and I would read it and feel so great about the fact that my baby had eyelashes.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, Baby Center just got plain ole mean.  It kept telling me I was gaining weight by POUNDS each WEEK which is just not what I wanted to hear.  Uh, excuse me BabyCenter, you don’t know me or my weight so just relax with the weight gain talk.

Well, after Baby was born, Baby Center continued to tell me about my baby as she aged.  Each week, by golly, Baby Center was sending me all sorts of stuff, and I was eating it up.  At first I thought it was wonderful…“Dear Erin, Your newborn baby will sleep all day and eat a lot.  She might even open her eyes to look at you once, but don’t worry if they are crossed. And, you will be tired.” Dead on BabyCenter.  Good work.

About 8 weeks into it (or somewhere around there), Baby Center decides to send a new email: “Dear Erin, Your baby should be grasping rattles and making them shake.  She will bat at objects in her sight.  She should be able to reach for a toy held just out of her reach.  Her head control is great at this time and she loves to sit up and reach for bright colored toys.  And, you will still be tired.” Well, Baby wasn’t doing these things at all, but I was one up on Baby Center because I wasn’t tired! HA!  Anyway, Baby looked at stuff, but certainly wasn’t grasping them, let alone batting at them.  And, her head was still lollygagging all over the place.  But, regardless of the small disclaimer at the bottom of the emails (all babies develop differently) Baby Center KEPT TELLING ME THE SAME THINGS!  Email upon email would tell me these things.  I was starting to get very annoyed.  Well, Baby Center, ya know what?  BACK OFF.  We’re working on it. We’ve got saucers, and toys hanging from every stupid thing we own, and by golly, sometimes she’d rather just put her OWN hands in her mouth and not a stupid crinkly noise toy.  SHEESH.

Around that same time, I noticed something happening to me as well.  I had clumps, YES, clumps of hair coming out.  I was beginning to think something was wrong with me and I’d acquired some new disease.  Weeks went by, and my hair kept falling out.  (I wasn’t bald by any means, but was worried that was coming!)  Well, good ole Baby Center decides to tell me about post partum hair loss SIXTEEN WEEKS after giving birth.  “Dear Erin, Your hair is probably falling out.  You probably noticed 4-6 weeks ago.  It’s normal and your hair won’t be regular again until about 1 year post partum.” HELLO?  Where were you 4 weeks ago when this started.  You are so quick to jump the gun on the grasping of rattles and super head control, but when MY hair is falling out  you decide to wait a little bit before giving me a clue about this fun fact.  Thanks a lot for all your helpful tips, Baby Center.  Love ya.

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5 more things…about AFTER the baby is born

Please click here for things #1-5 about what I wish I’d have known about after the baby is born….

6) Your brain will continue to forget things.  You know how when you got pregnant you stopped remembering ENTIRE conversations?  Well – don’t hold your breath because it doesn’t come back anytime soon after that baby comes out.  This is the main reason on why I will have to post items in a series of 5….I simply cannot remember anything more than that.  I forget to eat dinner, I forget that I have to go to the bathroom, I forget to feed my dogs, I forget the reason why I go into the kitchen (Oh yeah – to take my birth control pill….)

7) There is a smell. (I really should have put this in #1-5, but in my defense see #6.)  Look up the word Lochia and just know that if you had a sensitive smell issue while pregnant, please know it will continue and this amazing cleansing of your body is very distinct.  I will say no more unless we are good friends.  Just putting it out there.  No one told me.  You may be different…I have a really heightened sense of smell to begin with.

8.)  Your tolerance for any type of alcohol is nil. I don’t care if you were one cocktail away from calling Dr. Drew, or if you had a random glass of wine here and there before you got pregnant.  The first drink even containing a small amount of alcohol will require a long nap and a ride home.

9)  Feeding in the middle of the night will not take 5 minutes.  This was a shocker for me – and it could just be due to the horrible phrase that helps no one “all babies are different”.  Baby would wake in the night, eat, and take about 45 – 90 minutes to go back to sleep AFTER eating.  (Of course when my husband would feed her, she would go back to sleep in say, 20 minutes.  I like to think that was because Baby knew from the start who was more entertaining and wanted to stay up and talk about E! News…)  Regardless of what your baby does, don’t think it is like getting up to let out a puppy….it takes MUCH longer (at least for us….)

10)  It is quite possible that your baby might save those first smiles for someone other than you. Ugh – does it get more annoying?  After all that morning sickness, heartburn, hip pain, sciatica, weight gain, AND hard work of childbirth (OK – my childbirth experience was fantastic and easy but the girl in the room next to me that same day was really letting us all know how much it should hurt….) that first smile is probably gonna go to the one person who made a contribution and then waited out the entire process with ease.  I worked VERY hard for some smiles while Husband was out of town for 4 days when Baby was 6 weeks old.  I probably got one or two smiles over the four days (sing “Peanut Butter Jelly Time”….my baby LOVES it).  Husband walks in, looks at Baby, says NOTHING, and Baby gives the biggest grin and coo.  Now – I think my husband is very cute and definitely worth smiling at – but STILL……