Life is Rich…E-R-S-O-N

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Archive for October, 2009

The KC Marathon Experience

I really wish I could say that I ran the whole marathon, but I didn’t.  I ran on a relay team and I was the finisher.  I ran a 10K – and WHEW was I proud of myself.  It was my longest race distance and I feel that I finished in great time.  I also tried GU for the first time.  “Fifteen before and every forty five” is a good idea – except when your only choice is strawberry banana.  I felt a little guilty taking this GU as I was not running the full marathon, but someone threw it at me as I waited for the ankle chip to be run in from leg 4, so I took it and ate it.  Strawberry banana GU is not good.  I wish someone would have thrown grape GU.  I hope they MAKE grape GU – it would be much better.

There were several other things about this experience that I feel I must comment on.  Thank you to all who came to cheer….EXCEPT blond curly-haired mid twenties guys who we will name Rude Cheerer.  Here’s the problem.  When you cheer, regardless of who is coming by, you should always say “Go Runners!”  Your cheer for me was rude, and it did not help me at all when I hear three consecutive “Go Runners” followed by a “Go Walker…”  I literally stopped running right in front of you…you saw me running, and then saw me slow to a walk for maybe 20 seconds.  “Go Walker” is not nice, nor did it motivate me to do anything but be annoyed and vow to talk bad about you on my blog.

Luckily after Rude Cheerer, I was passed by encountered The Barefoot Runner.  I’ve heard of this amazing creature, and am pretty sure I saw you training at a local high school.  I’m sorry that I yelled “The Barefoot Runner – I saw him!” but I had my iPod on and wasn’t thinking.  I have a rather TERRIBLE case of verbal diarrhea.  Just ask George Brett.  Or Billy Butler.  Anyway, regardless of your amazing accomplishment I really don’t think it’s a good idea to round the corner onto The Paseo and yell out “I love the hood.”  No one in “the hood” cares that you love it, regardless of your shoe status.  Not smart.  Not smart.

Once the Barefoot Runner went along on his merry way, I was stuck with Orange Shirt with No Bib, (Are you allowed to just join in? with NO bib? That would have totally saved me money!), Bright Yellow Guy, and BFFs.  OSWNB (Orange Shirt with No Bib) and I had a great thing going.  He tested all the random snacks that non-volunteer people brought out, and if he didn’t choke or fall over, then I knew I should have some, too.  Good call on the GummieBears, OSWNB.  Bright Yellow Guy was good for me for a bit, too.  I stayed right behind him, almost like I was “speed ghosting”.  But then he stopped and started walking.  I wasn’t about to risk another hearty cheer for Rude Cheerer, so I pushed on past Bright Yellow Guy and hoped he didn’t get a “Go Walker”, too.  BFFs, I have to say, I’m kinda disappointed in you.  I realize I only ran 6.2 miles with you, but I assumed you had been running the entire marathon side by side.  Why did you ditch your friend in the last mile?  It was a good testament to friendships everywhere, and it made me glad that my friends Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Britney, and Three Dog Night didn’t have the option of leaving me.  I ALWAYS charge the iPod.

The best part is obviously at the end.  I never really had the desire to run a full marathon before until I got to the finish line.  People cheering for you (as long as you write your name on your bib, DANG IT!), tears, laughter, fist pumps, claps, etc.  But I would ditch all that, and seriously think about running 26.2 miles because I REALLY want to be given the shiny foil cape!  Oh what fun those were!  They crinkle so loud and look so pretty all over the place.  Do they give those out at every marathon?  If so, I’m grabbing OSWNB and we’re headed out.


My beef with Baby Center

Baby was my best friend when I was pregnant.  I could google ANYTHING – and Baby Center would usually be the top hit.  I joined as a member and even “chatted” on some of the member forums (please stop making fun of me in your mind…I also belong to a LOST forum, on which I have spent many-a-hour feeling dumb by talking to smart LOST watchers…).  Anyway – Baby Center was great.  It would email me each week with a little paragraph about my baby’s development (it does leave a lot to be desired because one teeny little paragraph was just not quite enough for me and my paranoia quest for knowledge) and I would read it and feel so great about the fact that my baby had eyelashes.

Towards the end of my pregnancy, Baby Center just got plain ole mean.  It kept telling me I was gaining weight by POUNDS each WEEK which is just not what I wanted to hear.  Uh, excuse me BabyCenter, you don’t know me or my weight so just relax with the weight gain talk.

Well, after Baby was born, Baby Center continued to tell me about my baby as she aged.  Each week, by golly, Baby Center was sending me all sorts of stuff, and I was eating it up.  At first I thought it was wonderful…“Dear Erin, Your newborn baby will sleep all day and eat a lot.  She might even open her eyes to look at you once, but don’t worry if they are crossed. And, you will be tired.” Dead on BabyCenter.  Good work.

About 8 weeks into it (or somewhere around there), Baby Center decides to send a new email: “Dear Erin, Your baby should be grasping rattles and making them shake.  She will bat at objects in her sight.  She should be able to reach for a toy held just out of her reach.  Her head control is great at this time and she loves to sit up and reach for bright colored toys.  And, you will still be tired.” Well, Baby wasn’t doing these things at all, but I was one up on Baby Center because I wasn’t tired! HA!  Anyway, Baby looked at stuff, but certainly wasn’t grasping them, let alone batting at them.  And, her head was still lollygagging all over the place.  But, regardless of the small disclaimer at the bottom of the emails (all babies develop differently) Baby Center KEPT TELLING ME THE SAME THINGS!  Email upon email would tell me these things.  I was starting to get very annoyed.  Well, Baby Center, ya know what?  BACK OFF.  We’re working on it. We’ve got saucers, and toys hanging from every stupid thing we own, and by golly, sometimes she’d rather just put her OWN hands in her mouth and not a stupid crinkly noise toy.  SHEESH.

Around that same time, I noticed something happening to me as well.  I had clumps, YES, clumps of hair coming out.  I was beginning to think something was wrong with me and I’d acquired some new disease.  Weeks went by, and my hair kept falling out.  (I wasn’t bald by any means, but was worried that was coming!)  Well, good ole Baby Center decides to tell me about post partum hair loss SIXTEEN WEEKS after giving birth.  “Dear Erin, Your hair is probably falling out.  You probably noticed 4-6 weeks ago.  It’s normal and your hair won’t be regular again until about 1 year post partum.” HELLO?  Where were you 4 weeks ago when this started.  You are so quick to jump the gun on the grasping of rattles and super head control, but when MY hair is falling out  you decide to wait a little bit before giving me a clue about this fun fact.  Thanks a lot for all your helpful tips, Baby Center.  Love ya.